This weekend has contained one thing: reading for my exam on Friday.
I'm getting nervous just of the thought.
But I'm really proud of myself that I read so much.. haha.
These past few weeks I've been thinking about life. What I'm going to do after this senior year in school. So many options but what to choose?
Right now I just wanna party party party and party..
Lately I've been thinking about people. In general. Is every single one real or is just pretending to be nice or is everybody playing a role that everyone else can see... I have noticed that when certain people I always have thought have been really unreal and "evil" in my eyes suddenly turns out to be nice? It's just weird. Like I've known some people for 6 years and they turn out to be nice.. But what do I know, it might be different when these persons are alone so to say and not always together with their friends who always stands up for them no matter in what situation they are.
This week has been pretty a wake-up call for me and the realization that school has begun again. And our last year (!!!) Now we're seniors, holy poop.
My thoughts have been rushing up and down lately. I just don't know if it's normal teen life to just blindly believe in others and then get deeply disappointed. Ugh -.-
I'm just gonna marry the night instead, hah.
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Friday was nice nice nice. We went out with the girls and had a blast.
On Tuesday I went dancing for the first time this autumn. Voguing is so fun!
Last weekend was also one of my best weekends of my whole summer, although school had started already. Weekend festival, it was really an experience I won't forget since we saw David Guetta so closely. While we were in Helsinki, I had the chance to see my uncle too :).
Good nighterss,
Haadi
The Queen released her new video on Monday, I got to say: I love it! ♥
Finally at home. Kind of weird to be home now when I was prepared to work until this week's Saturday. I'm not complaining, I'm more relieved. I have worked all summer long, and one week so called holiday is just what I need after all the strawberries and ice cream.
I met Sandra today and we had a blast. I think destiny had something to do with our three coincidences with the same people.. Haha.. Well, I laughed.
This week is really going to be my most planned week.. But yeah well, I have been away all summer so. Waiting for the weekend though.
It feels like forever the last time I wrote something here.
Well, I have been working and at home this weekend. Met a couple of friends. I was shopping too. These pretty ones ♥ I'm still in love with that colour!
I'm both happy and first-stage-stressed.
Oh my my, time goes by so fast.. It only feels like yesterday when I started working.. Hah, no just kidding. It feels like 3 weeks ago. I'm not mentally or physically ready for some serious thinking.
I have some time to forget school for a moment. But only for a while. Time has soon come when I have to walk inside that building again and say goodbye to lovely summer.
It feels like the days here floats into each other. I have been here for a so long time but still not. I started reading on the first book for my exam... Jesus I have much to read.
Better start reading then so that I won't have everything ahead of me.
Today has been a warm day. And my head has played tricks with me. It repeats old memories that I wouldn't like to remember in such detail. My brain remembers useless things and I just get uncomfortable remembering them.
I had a nice day off yesterday. It paid off at least.. I wasn't feeling that good yesterday, haha.
Sunday was seriously a day I had been waiting for, I had so much fun here. New friends and people came and talk to me even and said like: "Hey, I know who you are. You work at that place... "
I was like yeah, do I know you. Kind of funny though since I don't know so many people here.
Then I met one person who really made me convinced that boys can dance. Holy freaking shit.. I should take him out and dance sometime ;).
I really want to hit something really hard right now. Let all this unnecessary frustration get away. -.-
First my boss complained about my work habits and shit.. And I don't know what is happening right now o.O. Like holy freaking shit. Yesterday was really random, and today everything seems to be as it used to be again. Almost.
I don't know if it is worth fight for, but my head and heart tells me otherwise. Even though it seems hopeless I still want it to be true. It's still like you're hiding there, but I can see you. Like see who you are, kind of. Well, let's not confuse myself and you anymore.
Tomorrow work and then two days off from work! Yess!! Can't wait!
I have a weird feeling about everything. Like I over analyze everything and then I just get annoyed and think that there's no point in what I do or want to do. I really don't know what to think sometimes. And my head doesn't know what to think anymore. Nothing is clear and my thoughts seems to be a messy blur. And it changes from day to day; one day I have clear plans ahead of me and the next it feels like I'm wasting my life on something that isn't even possible.
I'm so angry with myself because I'm so stupidly stupid. It's like when I want to let go but my brain is really stubborn and won't listen to me.. So I guess I have to live with it for some time now.
I've been working for almost 2 weeks and I'm starting to like my job. It took nearly 1,5 weeks for me to get used to it so to say. I think this work-summer will be nice and different after all. Although I won't see my friends as often as I would like but I see them all the time in school in autumn, right? Anyways, I WANT TO DANCE :D hahha.. Just had to say that because I'm getting nuts here. Okay, I'm excited for the new dance I tried out here a couple of weeks ago: voguing. I would love to start with it, if the time and day is suitable for me.
How the fuck am I ever going to forget my 18th midsummer and I have to spend it at my grandma's place.. WTF really.... -.-
Well, I'm still pissed off big time but I will get over it because I know I will be going home after 3 weeks or so. Well, have a good weekend you all! I have work tomorrow but luckily it's only 4 hours. Then I have 2 days off again ♥ See You, Haadi
Well, I have been working. The first day was awful because I had to work for 11 hours.
But the yesterday was a regular workday. But there were not so much costumer so I had not so much to do. Maybe today will be better cause the sun is shining!
Tomorrow big day for my little brother. He has his confirmation.
And we'll also sort of celebrate that he got a study place where he applied for.
And on Monday my mum has her birthday. So we will have 3 things to remember in a day.
I guess it will be fun to see all relatives again.
Soon off to work and then one day off! Yes! Getting used to the job routine already and the costumers are so friendly.
I met Sandra in town yesterday. We went to stores.
Not good for me. I bought one thing. Again.
I bought it cause I still love that lime green colour.
I should be banned for life from those clothing stores.
Anyways, I'm starting my job on Thursday. My employer let me know that yesterday. Fine by me. I had one more day at home to take it easy. Feeling so lazy right now, but it is summer now so I allow myself to be lazier. I miss my dance lessons. Most hip hop. I kind of feel empty when there is nothing that I have to do, yet. On Thursday I don't have as much free time as now.
