sunnuntai 12. toukokuuta 2013

Then You Were So Calm And Now You're Crazy


Isn't that crazy? That some people remind you of the old. Bring back sudden memories with a few words and you think that it's 2 years ago. And those friends who doesn't go to the same school everyday, they see these changes. I wouldn't see the changes as well if I would see them everyday. You realize how much you have missed them but on the other hand, not that much. Life goes on but it's sad that I don't have that much time although she lives two or three hundred meters from here.

It reminds me of so many good memories and bad ones. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Or be angry. I don't know. But those three years was awesome. I mean, she was and still is a really good friend. I simply don't see her that much anymore.

Like if I have been in a coma for 2 years now. It's like since I turned 15, the years have flown away so fast. I remember me then. I was an idiot. A huge dumb ass. I had a friend who turned out to be crazy since she was so weird. She always had something to come with but we were enemies in some point, I don't remember the reason why. It was something stupid. I nearly died when she became my "friend" again. After 3 years I realized that she was a weirdo cause she has changed school several times now. God knows where she's now. Maybe in Germany ahhah. Well, hope she has a great life out there somewhere. I haven't seen her for two years. Sometimes I dream about her. My brain has some kind of 2-year-old memory that keeps reminding me of her. And sometimes I want to see her, sometimes I just want to erase that face and memory of her.


This text wan't supposed to be this long, I was going to just post some music and head back to my stupid psychology shit work. -.-
Well, what are you going to do when you chose high school. ..

Fuck Fuck fuck fuck. Right now fuck everything.. School...


2,5 weeks or something like that. I'll start counting down the days now. That will depress me even more. 


My life was okay on Friday, now I just want to screw everything and I don't want to hear anything about it. I just want to get out from that freaking red building called school and start working and forget about all the shitty people there. Let those be. Let them laugh at me right have fun yeah. It happens to you too , you know. I shouldn't care, but what can you do when you're a person like me. It takes the guts out of me and chokes me. And then I find the strength to take it out on others. Which isn't a good thing.




Oh I know who's gonna love this post. :D  I feel like you have waited for it. It takes a lot for me to make me explode like this. I just can't stop writing. My fingers literally runs on the keyboard. Hahah.
Hope you enjoyed my explosion. My thoughts grows bigger and bigger for each day. Maybe you followers know that already. I store my thoughts and feelings and after a really long time I explode because I can't hold it inside anymore.
I could never think of when I have been this mad , angry and mad at myself. Because I thought it could be something. I thought it could work. All shit for nothing. F**k. Really what person says that shit to you. And then you don't even dare talk to me in public. Bull shit. Shitty shit talk. I know I say this now cause I'm so pissed. So pissed. I know how to talk. But no. Next time, I don't care who you're playing with. You have played with my feelings for so long and always pissed me off. Still, ass me has thought there was something. I'm done. You're not worth crying nor craving for.


Good night. Trying to get some sleep.




Haadi


P.S. Summer holiday soon ♥












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