My tests today went... pretty good-ish. Apart from my Swedish test.. Fuck..
I failed.. haha. Damn I was 3 points away ..
Well, whatever I hope the rest of my tests went okay.
Well, feeling weird when it's only 1 day left of school. Then on Saturday it's graduation.
Holy shit.. The time flies by soo fast. My brother graduates from elementary school.. It feels like I graduated from that school like last year or something...
Tomorrow school trip to a beach.. It's going to be fun!!
WHY haven't I looked at American Idol on tv.. My ass is too lazy to walk from one room to the other. Or then .. let's face the fact! I'm a fb addict. True story.
I'm like a zombie.. Wtf happened this morning. I thought I had time.
I had 10 minutes to go to school. I was still at home. Fml.
Luckily, I arrived in time. And the test was quite easy.
One test left on Wednesday!!! My life is smiling :D 5 days left, I will make it! I need to be better until Friday. My voice sounds like a retarded parrot.
And I love this singer too.. She is about to give out a new song soon. Can't wait! ♥
Yesterday was so much fun! First I was shopping with Sandra in town. Then we went to the river and waited for some people to show up.
It took a long time.. Well, then those came up and we went to a friends place. Then to the bar. Freaking fun times.. Omg, I don't know when I have laughed that much lately.
I might go out next Saturday too, we'll see. xD
Friday's catch :P
German test tomorrow. Second last test.. My motivation is running really low right now.
I had a test today. Psychology.. I think it went quite well.. Weird.
Next test is religion on Thursday and on Friday mother tongue. -.-
yesterday's dance performance.
Something is stopping you. I can't figure that out. Maybe I'm too weird and a drunkie.. Wouldn't doubt that. I just don't know what to think anymore. Forget or hold on?
Right now I have a "whatever" feeling about everything.
What the hell happened? Like really. What the hell.. I'm not that stupid, well apparently I am. Can I not control myself. No. Fucking hard. Don't even try. I just have a stupid head. And sorry for being an idiot.
I know you're hurt and I feel like a complete pile of shit. Sorry. Like fighting so long and now again. Don't know how my brain copes with all this junk.
Let's say this. I don't know what to say or do. I don't know anything anymore. I feel pathetic.
♥
You wouldn't even talk to me..
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After all the shit you put me through.
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I'm not in heaven, I'm not in hell. I'm just standing on the sidewalk.
What the hell, I didn't know you had feelings... Hah. Fucking pretender.
Really. I know I'm thinking in circles and going back to the beginning like freaking 5 000 000 times but I don't know anything anymore. Is this worth even to think about or just throw everything in the pile of unnecessary people..
Isn't that crazy? That some people remind you of the old. Bring back sudden memories with a few words and you think that it's 2 years ago. And those friends who doesn't go to the same school everyday, they see these changes. I wouldn't see the changes as well if I would see them everyday. You realize how much you have missed them but on the other hand, not that much. Life goes on but it's sad that I don't have that much time although she lives two or three hundred meters from here.
It reminds me of so many good memories and bad ones. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Or be angry. I don't know. But those three years was awesome. I mean, she was and still is a really good friend. I simply don't see her that much anymore.
Like if I have been in a coma for 2 years now. It's like since I turned 15, the years have flown away so fast. I remember me then. I was an idiot. A huge dumb ass. I had a friend who turned out to be crazy since she was so weird. She always had something to come with but we were enemies in some point, I don't remember the reason why. It was something stupid. I nearly died when she became my "friend" again. After 3 years I realized that she was a weirdo cause she has changed school several times now. God knows where she's now. Maybe in Germany ahhah. Well, hope she has a great life out there somewhere. I haven't seen her for two years. Sometimes I dream about her. My brain has some kind of 2-year-old memory that keeps reminding me of her. And sometimes I want to see her, sometimes I just want to erase that face and memory of her.
This text wan't supposed to be this long, I was going to just post some music and head back to my stupid psychology shit work. -.-
Well, what are you going to do when you chose high school. ..
Fuck Fuck fuck fuck. Right now fuck everything.. School...
2,5 weeks or something like that. I'll start counting down the days now. That will depress me even more.
My life was okay on Friday, now I just want to screw everything and I don't want to hear anything about it. I just want to get out from that freaking red building called school and start working and forget about all the shitty people there. Let those be. Let them laugh at me right have fun yeah. It happens to you too , you know. I shouldn't care, but what can you do when you're a person like me. It takes the guts out of me and chokes me. And then I find the strength to take it out on others. Which isn't a good thing.
Oh I know who's gonna love this post. :D I feel like you have waited for it. It takes a lot for me to make me explode like this. I just can't stop writing. My fingers literally runs on the keyboard. Hahah.
Hope you enjoyed my explosion. My thoughts grows bigger and bigger for each day. Maybe you followers know that already. I store my thoughts and feelings and after a really long time I explode because I can't hold it inside anymore.
I could never think of when I have been this mad , angry and mad at myself. Because I thought it could be something. I thought it could work. All shit for nothing. F**k. Really what person says that shit to you. And then you don't even dare talk to me in public. Bull shit. Shitty shit talk. I know I say this now cause I'm so pissed. So pissed. I know how to talk. But no. Next time, I don't care who you're playing with. You have played with my feelings for so long and always pissed me off. Still, ass me has thought there was something. I'm done. You're not worth crying nor craving for.
